January 16, 2013

Really, a resurrection? Yeah.

Maybe some of you wondered what happened to this blog. Or maybe you never saw it in your life. Judging by the recent activity, you probably assumed it was yet another much too ambitious blogger plunging into the growing trend, but couldn't maintain. A fair attempt, but not substantial. We've all stumbled upon some incredible blog just to discover it was abandoned months or years prior. How anti-climacetic. Oh well, just the millionth blog left untouched. This very thought haunted me throughout my entire absence! Every time I wanted to blog, I didn't because I wasn't ready to commit again. It's like going through a break up and realizing you need to make some life changes before continuing the relationship. Taking a step back, as people like to say, and hopefully the relationship is more amazing than imaginable. I knew I needed to make adjustments in my life. I was losing my vision and intention for my blog. And in order to present authentic posts, I had to unplug and refocus.

During this near year hiatus from blogging, I channeled my energy into deeper matters. I decided to make my mind and body; family and friends; spirit and faith the main priority. Some outside events pushed me to the realization of a clean break from the blogosphere. I didn't want to browse hundreds of blogs everyday and waste countless hours on the internet feeling I had nothing new to offer. My creativity and unique spirit felt squashed and lost. There was this deep desire to find inspiration from myself again, but that part of me felt muddled and unclear by all these outside influences. Constant stimulation through blogs, fashion sites, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and emails eventually cramped my style. It was oppressive. I was turning into a social media, fashion-crazed, modern technological junkie. It became this addiction.

These infographics exaggerate and perfectly describe what I felt.
There are entire articles devoted to this new addiction AND say it's more addictive than cigarettes and sex! WHAT!?? I'm not sure I believe that, but the fact it's competing with that speaks a lot about our society. 

It was this constant social interaction with complete strangers. I had become someone who checked her phone constantly and rudely, when hanging out, which is a major pet peeve of mine. What a huge insult! It sends the message- "these people on the internet are way more interesting than you. Even though I'm with you now, I'd rather be in this fake cyber world where people think I'm super cool". LAME. It's embarrassing to admit, but if I woke up in the middle of the night I checked twitter. Having too many influences can create a fake and that's what was transforming, a fake imposter. AH! If there is one thing I despise, it's a fraud. I slammed the brakes on this hard. SCREECHING HALT! I realized it would be better to kill the blog than continue something that wasn't 100% authentic.

Over this time, I've gone on some incredible trips: Charlottesville, Asheville, Deep Creep Lake, Ocean City, NYC and the long haul to California. All road trips, in fact. Which I hated until recently, but a new love for the road has grown. The spontaneity of jumping in the car with access to all these new places within a few hours is so exciting. The options multiply.  Traveling and exploring new places with my husband, family and friends has been a doggone blast! I also completed my very first half-marathon in 2 hours and 49 minutes! Two years ago if someone suggested would have suggested running 13 miles I would have scoffed and laughed. It seemed to unachievable. But I'm learning to set the stakes higher. Afterwards I began reading Born to Run, which impacted my life so much that for months every thought and action was related to this book. It was near religion. Also, I began managing and successfully running an independent coffeeshop, which consumed my life. I drank, dreamed and breathed coffee all spring and summer. Which isn't terrible, right?
St. Michael's Half Marathon, pushing hard at the end. 

Recovered and stoked!

I learned how to do this and became an aspiring coffee snob. 

 Climbed to the top of the Flatirons in Boulder, CO

Driving through Utah and staring at the most gnarly terrain. 

Which brings us to present time. I'm just settling into an awesome new house in Washington DC's neighborhood Petworth and a new job slinging espresso. And now seems like the appropriate time to begin again.  I waited to relaunch until I had a clear focus and purpose.  Blogs can be so personal; this one is a peek into my life, passions and personality. It's a representation of me. It should reflect authenticity. Nobody respects posers and sell outs. They are everywhere: on the corner, the coffee shop, art openings, the hippest social events, the grocery, they are waiting to stare you down and size you up on the Metro.

This is ridiculous, but so true! What people truly want is something raw and genuine. I'm setting the stakes high here, I know. But I have to draw the line and deliver what's real.

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